“You’re bigger than the big blue”
This can be interpreted in so many ways but for me it really relates to my struggles with depression and anxiety. The ‘big blue’ being these mental health problems which affect me on a daily basis. I also see the big blue like an ocean of obstacles in the form worries, fears, people. Not all of these things stick around, some might longer longer than others. But I’ve noticed that they come and go like waves, some knock me down and some push me up to a high. Although there might be a risk, they never completely drown me – because I have decided I am BIGGER!
I’ve learnt this year that change doesn’t just happen without you actively making an effort. For me I have had to chase other people up by making phone calls, sending letters and emails in order to secure my future plans. When you do finally get some answers (because you will), it’s a relief and there is a great sense of satisfaction knowing you’ve been productive. I feel more able to achieve and that I am regaining control of my life and the decisions I need to make.
At this time of year where everyone around you seems to be positive, excited and happy, even when you catch yourself having some fun, it can be so difficult to get the support you are actually in need of. Please talk to people and look after yourself. x