Friends will be friends

The company we keep on a daily basis can really influence who we grow to be as individuals, as much as we deny this! We change to accommodate people and naturally pick up different traits and interests as a result of hanging around people. Sometimes it’s great but a lot of times it can also be really damaging and we can loose our own self identity.

This happened to me and I now I am really selective with who I share my life with and I have a new friend recruiting strategy…

– If I initiate every conversation and meet up, we are not friends. One sided relationships never ever work out!

– If our meet ups always involve alcohol and you can’t hold a sober conversation with me then you are using me or you have a drink problem.

– If significant people in my life have worries and doubts about you, they probably are right. Sometimes people on the outside of relationships and friendships can see things more clearly and to the point.

– If you are a negative person, no matter how lovely you can be, I just can’t spend too much time around you!

It seems blunt and a bit black and white, but since having anxiety and depression I have really learnt who my real friends are. Those who genuinely cared and still care even when the troubles seem to be distant and overcome.

I have met some really lovely people recently after starting a new job and on my university course, and some of these people are so genuine, kind and loving that I know I want them to be in my life. It’s really made me realise that we can get so comfortable with our lives and not seek to change the people around us to put us in a better place!

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You’re Bigger than the Big Blue

“You’re bigger than the big blue”

This can be interpreted in so many ways but for me it really relates to my struggles with depression and anxiety. The ‘big blue’ being these mental health problems which affect me on a daily basis. I also see the big blue like an ocean of obstacles in the form worries, fears, people. Not all of these things stick around, some might longer longer than others. But I’ve noticed that they come and go like waves, some knock me down and some push me up to a high. Although there might be a risk, they never completely drown me – because I have decided I am BIGGER!

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I’ve learnt this year that change doesn’t just happen without you actively making an effort. For me I have had to chase other people up by making phone calls, sending letters and emails in order to secure my future plans. When you do finally get some answers (because you will), it’s a relief and there is a great sense of satisfaction knowing you’ve been productive. I feel more able to achieve and that I am regaining control of my life and the decisions I need to make.

At this time of year where everyone around you seems to be positive, excited and happy, even when you catch yourself having some fun, it can be so difficult to get the support you are actually in need of. Please talk to people and look after yourself. x